The Covid Diary: Ryanne, 22 years old, USA

Hello, My name is Ryanne horn. I’m 22 years old and I live in the West Coast of the United States. My life has been really juxtaposed since the start of the quarantine. There’s been a lot of good moments, but these have come with pitfalls and feelings of insecurity, frustration and fear of the unknown. Physically, I’ve kept busy by drawing, painting, sewing, redecorating, etc. Emotionally and mentally, I’ve reflected a lot on who I am to myself and what I would like to represent myself as to other people, and myself. Combining these two things has really made a huge difference in how I’ve kept afloat during this global pandemic

I want to bring to light that no matter how anyone spends their quarantine, it’s extra time to reflect and think about where we are at, as people, as a community and a population and ponder different things we never feel as though we have the time to think about in our normal life and routines. I have a lot of personal ambitions and goals that have always had loose ends or no plan of action when it came to obtaining it . The time we have to remain at home has given me a chance to be more thoughtful and intentional in the things I do.

Examples! Here are some things that have kept me busy and things I have done that have benefitted me as a whole in general, mostly doing things with intention. Enjoy!

A product of quarantine has been filling my day with intention, for example, instead of putting decor onto my bedside table, I replaced the objects that collected dust with things that benefit me. Ask yourself, what do you think of at night while you’re in bed that you wish you had beside you? I made a list of essentials, chap stick, a nail file, hair tie, perfume, lotion, a notebook, a brush, eye patches for my baggy under eyes. Intention! It makes such a difference in connecting yourself to your surroundings.

For the past half decade, taking photos has been therapeutic and equally stress inducing for myself. With the extra pocket time I’ve had, It’s allowed me to take more photos, BUT, with the intention of me doing things I would mostly be doing either way. I’ve struggled with this before, crafting a life through photos in an unhealthy way, but this has given me an opportunity to continue to take photos but give them meaning as a representation of my life. I’ve been making mood boards to reflect my life, while allowing me to live out my days in the way that I portray them to be in photos. It’s made me so much more driven and content with progress even if life doesn’t look a certain way, that doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy and experience it. There is real power in knowing you have a say in the way your life looks to you.

I took a fashion class! It’s titled, Understanding Fashion, From Business to Culture, provided by The Institut Français de la Mode. The course explains the impact fashion has had on culture and society as well as consumer behavior. Not only has it kept me busy and has given routine, but I’m learning about things I really care about- which doesn’t make it feel like busy work, but work that will only help me now but also in the future.

Draw baby draw! It helps that I’m in a drawing class through college but I’ve been trying to be better about drawing figures and specific pieces of the body. On top of this, both painting and sewing has also worked closely with drawing lately as well. It’s given me something to focus my attention on while having fun.

Learning how to make better coffee! My favorite recipe right now is as follows: 1.Coffee
3.Vanilla almond milk Coffee creamer
4.Sugar free vanilla stevia drops

Daydreaming has been fun lately, not about unrealistic things and definitely less romanticizing than when I was young, but it’s given me more purpose in the things that I do and has shifted my perspective on what I would like to fill my days with in order to live through my goals in the future, and what accountability means to me.

Of course there have been moments of extreme uncertainty and thinking of worst case scenarios, but the hardest thing for me has been missing human interaction. Whether introverted or extroverted, there is so much nourishment in feeling connected to the people around you. This experience has completely rebuilt my gratitude for everyday moments like going to get coffee, walking my dog with friends, going to the store without fear, visiting friends and family. I hope that we all as a human population can take this experience and replace frustration with gratitude, there has been deep sadness and extreme uncertainty which should not go unrecognized, but in the era of COVID-19, the only thing we can do is be mindful of the lives that have been lost, the people risking their lives for others, and be grateful for our ability to just stay home. 

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